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Friday, December 23, 2005

Hurting me over and over and over again, is that all you know how to do? You said that i didnt treat you the way i should but how can i treat someone that way unless i am treated that way too? You just didnt get it did you? All you cared about was your enjoyment and happiness... Even though it caused pain to others, you still didnt do anything about it... Now when i finally showed you my anger, you want my forgiveness? Do you truly believe that what you have done is totally forgiven if you apologise? Which rock did you crawl out from under? I know my attitude towards you and him in the cinema maybe not acceptable but do you understand that it was YOUR fault that it happened? Do you even know how hurt i was with what you were doing with him? Obviously not did you? I have so many questions here... some rhetorical and others just queries but most importantly, WHY DIDNT YOU THINK BEFORE YOU ACTED? Have you ever spared a thought for kelly? I know i havent really much and which i totally regret but you obviously still havent thought about it at all!? What is WRONG with you! Just because i asked you "how are you?" and "what are you doing?"... You think i have forgiven you? Well you are sadly mistaken... You are FAR from it... You obviously have never spared a thought for me and definitely not kelly... I am not sure who is to blame for this broken up friendships but i have only heard one side... Ryan, you are not all that innocent as of yet kaes so dun believe that you are safe... You played along with her to help yourself and to hurt me... I never knew friendships were so easily broken... Why has it alwaes been that my trust in others alwaes get so badly rejected? Do i trust to easily? Or do i trust the wrong people? Haix... confusing isnt this?

Kelly... no words can express the anxiety and unbelievable self hatred i have inside me for all the hurt i have caused you... You treated me so nicely and with all the help and care that you provided as my "Royal Advisor" and with all the "KKS" that you gave us... Especially me! But what did i do? I threw them all out when i was smitten.... I really dunno how to make it up to you because I know what i have and havent done is truly painful as you showed during our ice skating and even the movie... You finally told me on the phone at night but i really didnt mean to inflict pain upon you... I only have 2 words to say to you... I'm sorry...

ran away from time 1:35 AM



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